Absolutely, emotional labour and division of labour are subjects which we are now being given the perfect opportunity to address! If only we can find the right way to do that while constantly at home together, without (as you point out) bringing about an irreparable rift.

As has recently been pointed out to me (repeatedly) by my 18 year old — even when we talk about ‘helping’, we are acknowledging and accepting that assumption, culturally ingrained, that all of the work is rightfully OUR responsibility in the first place. As my teen says, they live in the house too, it’s not (unless as you say by prearranged agreement), helping you get YOUR jobs done, it’s taking on a fair share of the responsibility for keeping things running smoothly (or relatively so, which is good enough for me to be honest, especially in stressful times like these!).

All the little details I keep track of in my head — the lists of things needing doing, regularly/daily/occasionally, or perhaps as a special project/one off; the dates of appointments, birthdays etc — buying presents and cards, making cakes, calling people; the planning of meals/stocks of food; when medications need to be taken, how many of each kind we have, when they need restocked…. and on and on and on. Frankly the mental and emotional load is way more tiring than the physical work itself! That’s just the way things work though right? Well it’s time for a change.