I have this problem too Jennifer. Last time I went for a smear, the doctor was supposed to be doing it because I needed an exam as well. A nurse was summoned, who ignored the information I gave about needing to use a paediatric speculum and just kept saying "I won't hurt you!". My insistance that she would was tutted at and brushed off - and after I howled and sobbed through that experiece, the doctor refused to do my exam at all!! My decades of gynaecological issues were ignored, I was disbelieved, treated as though I was making an unnecessary fuss and completely over-ruled. I've never been treated as though I knew my own body; my pain from endometriosis, ovarian cysts and heavy bleeding was never believed. Right at this moment I'm in a huge amount of pain and I'm just so damn tired of it all I don't honestly know what to do with myself. This is in the UK - and while I will always be immensely grateful for having our NHS , in my experience women are not any better off in terms of the gaslighting and condescension received.