It seems to me that, as with many terms and concepts, there are varying ways that people can understand and use the term ‘toxic femininity ‘ — and I would suggest that this actually is part of the problem. This holds equally true other terms and issues you discuss and mention, ‘toxic masculinity’ included and the white poppy campaign as another example. When people are using the same term but have a disparity, lack of clarity or lack of consistency in their understanding and usage, then discussion will always be confused, unresolved and practically pointless.